"I wish more people appreciated the daily pressure non-famous women experience to get ready each day for mundane jobs and situations. I wish more people understood that it was tied to their financial security and career advancement."
This made me cry because I just felt so understood. I work in a hospital, under unforgiving lights, and I'm definitely not famous... and damn it is just as demeaning to be laughed at for having a full face of makeup on as it is humiliating to be told I look like garbage when I don't. It is so hard.
Thank you for sharing, rach -- this just goes to show how twisted our values are as a society. You are working in a hospital -- caring for others at the highest order! -- and people are making their nasty thoughts on your appearance known instead of being grateful for what you do. To hell with them! Keep on being you.
I am thoroughly DELIGHTING in this dispatch. There are days when I suddenly peer into the mirror and realize I have not plucked my eyebrows in....months? I mean, I'm not totally feral or anything, but if it takes more than 10 minutes in the morning lately...I'm probably skipping it. As always thank you Amy for reminding us why Back Row is a salve from the insanity.
Thanks for this! We should also tally the financial impact of women having to, or wanting to, buy all of these "grooming" products that the manufacturers assure us that we need because our faces/hair/whatever are not good enough without them.
Two days last month I decided not to 'get ready' and spend that time in the morning on other things. Both days, most people in work commented on how tired & washed out I looked - then when I wore makeup again on day 3 said I was looking much better. I didn't point out the difference. Definitely took it as food for thought, I've always thought of myself as a person who enjoys getting ready & 'feeling my best', but DO I or do I just seek the external validation? Good article!
I can admit that I pretty much only enjoy the external validation / feeling like I don't look like a slob. Perhaps that's why I don't enjoy getting ready. There must have been a time when I loved trying new eyeshadow and stuff like that, but those days are behind me.
Dec 15, 2023·edited Dec 15, 2023Liked by Amy Odell
I wish I looked like Pamela Anderson so I could go without makeup, too! (I often joke about putting my face on so I don't scare small children. LOL.) For me, this goes back to the way my mom viewed "getting ready." She placed great importance on being appropriately "styled" - hair, makeup and clothing. She always looked put together. And she always wore lipstick.
You look lovely without makeup, I just know it! Shame on marketing campaigns and societal pressure for making us feel otherwise. There are bald men with several chins out there who aren't contouring. No one would would ever ask them to.
I feel the urge to geek out in my comment. There’s a sex discrimination case in which the plaintiff - a woman who worked in a casino I think - claimed that being forced to wear makeup for work (as her employer required) was a form of discrimination on the basis of sex. The court ruled against her, arguing this was a reasonable condition of her employment. And of course there have been numerous cases filed by Black women complaining about “rules” against locks, and “requirements” for processed hair (and some states have enacted “Crown” measures outlawing this). To add to the sexism, union workers in several predominantly male jobs can clock in before they dress for work (though granted this is usually protective or specialized gear). FWIW, I knew waitresses who wrote off all their makeup and hosiery purchases on their taxes as required work equipment. My conclusion? If you’re in a job that requires / expects you to wear makeup, etc for work, at least keep track of your purchases and write off the expense! (*speaking neither as an attorney nor a tax preparer.)
Amy, thank you for this think piece! A similar deep dive on how the celebrity industry drives Botox, fillers, Ozempic, etc would be so interesting! I loved seeing Pamela Anderson not only without makeup but also seemingly eschewing Botox - or at least I assume she does because her forehead moves! I am of two minds on cosmetic procedures - we should be able to do what we want to our faces and bodies, but also, what are we doing to ourselves by doing what we want to our faces and bodies? I think it’s ok to not know how to feel about this, but especially as I get older, I love seeing women who may get facials/do other procedures to care for their skin, but still have faces that move and have aged beautifully.
Thank you for reading! I recently read about a study about the effects of cosmetic procedures like botox on how old we look, and the conclusion was that it made women look around three years younger to onlookers. Maybe the question some of us should ask is: do I want to undergo this pain/expense/whatever in order to look three years younger?
I was also horrified by the piece in The Cut not too long ago about fillers and how terrible it is to dissolve them.
Loved reading this. Was a teenager in New York in the 80s when no one blew out their hair, overgroomed their eyebrows or meticulously contoured their face. It always looks so...I don’t know...so unappealing to me. When I travel to Europe it’s interesting to see how the style median is so much higher but there isn’t as much over grooming. The economic argument is real and you make an impactful case for it. I also just think women look better with natural hair that’s been cut really well and less fake perfection on their face. Personally I spend my time on my clothes and accessories.
I find the same as I age -- I'd rather spend more time on clothes than fixing hair or doing makeup. It took me a long time to embrace my natural waves. When I was young, my flatiron was my best friend. I also invest in a good haircut which I can do because I only bother to go like twice a year.
Famously (at least to me, lol), Aerin Lauder has said for years that she doesn't spend time doing her makeup or hair for events. Even for a member of a family that owns a beauty conglomerate, her face/hair look is very minimalist.
"I wish more people appreciated the daily pressure non-famous women experience to get ready each day for mundane jobs and situations. I wish more people understood that it was tied to their financial security and career advancement."
This made me cry because I just felt so understood. I work in a hospital, under unforgiving lights, and I'm definitely not famous... and damn it is just as demeaning to be laughed at for having a full face of makeup on as it is humiliating to be told I look like garbage when I don't. It is so hard.
Thank you for sharing, rach -- this just goes to show how twisted our values are as a society. You are working in a hospital -- caring for others at the highest order! -- and people are making their nasty thoughts on your appearance known instead of being grateful for what you do. To hell with them! Keep on being you.
I am thoroughly DELIGHTING in this dispatch. There are days when I suddenly peer into the mirror and realize I have not plucked my eyebrows in....months? I mean, I'm not totally feral or anything, but if it takes more than 10 minutes in the morning lately...I'm probably skipping it. As always thank you Amy for reminding us why Back Row is a salve from the insanity.
Thanks for this! We should also tally the financial impact of women having to, or wanting to, buy all of these "grooming" products that the manufacturers assure us that we need because our faces/hair/whatever are not good enough without them.
YES.
Two days last month I decided not to 'get ready' and spend that time in the morning on other things. Both days, most people in work commented on how tired & washed out I looked - then when I wore makeup again on day 3 said I was looking much better. I didn't point out the difference. Definitely took it as food for thought, I've always thought of myself as a person who enjoys getting ready & 'feeling my best', but DO I or do I just seek the external validation? Good article!
I can admit that I pretty much only enjoy the external validation / feeling like I don't look like a slob. Perhaps that's why I don't enjoy getting ready. There must have been a time when I loved trying new eyeshadow and stuff like that, but those days are behind me.
HELL 😵💫😵💫😵💫
I wish I looked like Pamela Anderson so I could go without makeup, too! (I often joke about putting my face on so I don't scare small children. LOL.) For me, this goes back to the way my mom viewed "getting ready." She placed great importance on being appropriately "styled" - hair, makeup and clothing. She always looked put together. And she always wore lipstick.
You look lovely without makeup, I just know it! Shame on marketing campaigns and societal pressure for making us feel otherwise. There are bald men with several chins out there who aren't contouring. No one would would ever ask them to.
LOL Thanks for the vote of confidence!
Sue, the best advice my dermatologist ever gave me was
“Throw out your magnifying mirror”.
I suggest you do the same and realize you are probably pretty good looking, like most of us out there,
I feel the urge to geek out in my comment. There’s a sex discrimination case in which the plaintiff - a woman who worked in a casino I think - claimed that being forced to wear makeup for work (as her employer required) was a form of discrimination on the basis of sex. The court ruled against her, arguing this was a reasonable condition of her employment. And of course there have been numerous cases filed by Black women complaining about “rules” against locks, and “requirements” for processed hair (and some states have enacted “Crown” measures outlawing this). To add to the sexism, union workers in several predominantly male jobs can clock in before they dress for work (though granted this is usually protective or specialized gear). FWIW, I knew waitresses who wrote off all their makeup and hosiery purchases on their taxes as required work equipment. My conclusion? If you’re in a job that requires / expects you to wear makeup, etc for work, at least keep track of your purchases and write off the expense! (*speaking neither as an attorney nor a tax preparer.)
Amy, thank you for this think piece! A similar deep dive on how the celebrity industry drives Botox, fillers, Ozempic, etc would be so interesting! I loved seeing Pamela Anderson not only without makeup but also seemingly eschewing Botox - or at least I assume she does because her forehead moves! I am of two minds on cosmetic procedures - we should be able to do what we want to our faces and bodies, but also, what are we doing to ourselves by doing what we want to our faces and bodies? I think it’s ok to not know how to feel about this, but especially as I get older, I love seeing women who may get facials/do other procedures to care for their skin, but still have faces that move and have aged beautifully.
Thank you for reading! I recently read about a study about the effects of cosmetic procedures like botox on how old we look, and the conclusion was that it made women look around three years younger to onlookers. Maybe the question some of us should ask is: do I want to undergo this pain/expense/whatever in order to look three years younger?
I was also horrified by the piece in The Cut not too long ago about fillers and how terrible it is to dissolve them.
https://www.thecut.com/2023/02/buccal-fat-removal-dissolve-fillers-bella-hadid-angular-face.html
Loved reading this. Was a teenager in New York in the 80s when no one blew out their hair, overgroomed their eyebrows or meticulously contoured their face. It always looks so...I don’t know...so unappealing to me. When I travel to Europe it’s interesting to see how the style median is so much higher but there isn’t as much over grooming. The economic argument is real and you make an impactful case for it. I also just think women look better with natural hair that’s been cut really well and less fake perfection on their face. Personally I spend my time on my clothes and accessories.
I find the same as I age -- I'd rather spend more time on clothes than fixing hair or doing makeup. It took me a long time to embrace my natural waves. When I was young, my flatiron was my best friend. I also invest in a good haircut which I can do because I only bother to go like twice a year.
Famously (at least to me, lol), Aerin Lauder has said for years that she doesn't spend time doing her makeup or hair for events. Even for a member of a family that owns a beauty conglomerate, her face/hair look is very minimalist.